Commitment to the Guideline(s) is part of Creating Our “subject-SUBJECT” Conscious (Safer) - Spaces at Evans Lake Camp
These Safer Spaces Guidelines are a result of feedback from previous campers. The feedback included reporting of Consensual Boundary violations.The guidelines have been created to evolve as we learn and discover new ways of consensual interacting. May consensual and subject-subject Radical Faerie Magic find a beautiful place within you.
- Subject-SUBJECT CONSCIOUSNESS -- was first articulated by Harry Hay and is the cornerstone of our ethos. Heart-focused intimacy does not depend on physical contact; just as physical contact does not always imply heart-focused intimacy. subject-OBJECT (Un)consciousness is the cornerstone of othering (heteronormative) patriarchy. It is manifested when we treat another simply as an (vehicle) OBJECT to fulfill our desires.
- SAFE--Our spaces are not spaces for violence, racism, sexism, ageism, transphobia, cissexism, homophobia, sizeism, fatphobia, HIV/hep C stigmatisation, sexual harassment, shaming, and gender policing, or doing anything to another person without their consent.
- DIVERSITY --We recognize and value diversity, including but not limited to differences in ethnicity, gender identity, ancestry, place of origin, colour, citizenship, religion/spirituality, sexual orientation, age, marital status, family status, HIV and/or hep-C status, political affiliation, ability, etc. We also acknowledge that members from these communities are not treated equally and often encounter barriers, which hinder equal access to employment, education, information, activities, programs and services.
- COMMUNICATION --We will be aware of our language and behavior and consider how these may be harmful to others.
- KINDNESS --We believe that bullying and violence is a serious issue that has far reaching consequences inclusive of the Rad Fae community and the broader community. Bullying is defined as a form of repeated, persistent and aggressive behavior directed at an individual or individuals that is intended to cause (or should be known to cause) fear and distress and/or harm to another person’s body, feelings, self-esteem or reputation. Bullying occurs in a context where there is a real or perceived power imbalance. (Source: Ministry of Education)
Different forms of bullying include:
- Physical – hitting, shoving, intimidation, stalking, harassment & violence.
- Verbal - name calling, mocking, or making sexist, racist, transphobic, or homophobic comments.
- Social – excluding others from a group or spreading gossip or rumors about them.
- Verbal – name calling, mocking, or making sexist, racist, transphobic, or homophobic comments.
- Electronic (commonly known as cyberbullying) – spreading rumors and hurtful comments through the use of cellphones, e-mail, text messaging and our social networking sites.
- CURIOUS-- Avoid making assumptions about the identity, experiences, and/or histories of other people. This includes pronouns and language for body parts and sexual activities. Wait for people to choose whether they feel safe to share their own histories and truths.
- CONFIDENTIAL--We highly value confidentiality in our containers. We do not talk about other people’s stories outside of our curated containers without consent. This includes not “outing” people or speculating on people’s histories.
- RESPECTFUL--We operate out of respect. Respect yourself. Respect other people: their bodies, their clothes, and their choices. Respect the physical space: help keep it clean, watch where you put your things, clean up after yourself. Respect the well-intended efforts of the planning committee, co-creative volunteers, and camp staff.
- ACCEPTING--We are committed to ensuring access to gender neutral washrooms in recognition that so often gender-variant, trans, two spirit and women-identified people are at greater risk to violence and harassment. We will(do) not tolerate any form of body policing, gender policing, gender-based violence or harassment within our spaces, as well as in the washrooms. There are multi-stall and single-stall/occupancy washrooms onsite.
- Consensual ENJOYMENT --Enjoy the ways in which our container connects you to your own body; respect the ways in which other people are enjoying their own bodies. Consent and boundaries are important, please respect your own and others. We will not tolerate any slut-shaming or sex-negative behaviors.
- Consensual EQUALITY and SOCIAL EQUALITY in INTERSECTING PRIVILEGES --Each faerie is asked to consider the intersections of their privileges and how those privileges may create power imbalances in general discussions and in discussions of consent for touch, sex or otherwise with those who may be more marginalized. It is important to take our own Personal Inventory, yes; from the youngest to the eldest and make sure that we are using our social capital for inclusion and to use our social capital for consensual equality.
- Consensual ACCOUNTABILITY --It is everyone’s responsibility to get consent if they want to engage in any activity with another person. If you do not get consent, you are at risk of doing something another person doesn’t want you to do. You might disrespect and hurt someone. You need to get consent for any physical contact – not just sexual acts. This includes touching, hugging, kissing, etc. Grabbing someone’s chest, genitals, or butt without consent is sexual assault - so is making someone touch you. Any form of sexual activity with another person without their consent is sexual assault.
- Consensual SEX POSITIVE SPACES --communicate for enthusiastic consent before interacting with someone in the love lounge. We understand that in sex-positive spaces, consent can be implied or non-verbal - pay attention to people’s body language, respect people’s boundaries, and if there is any doubt at all, ask. Talking about sex in the act can feel awkward, but its sexy and esencial to actively affirm enthusiastic consent.
- HEY YOU--Consider your own boundaries before, during, and after any physical interactions. This includes negotiation of safer-sex practices. The BC Rad Faes are committed to providing safer sexual health supplies (including condoms, lubrication, and gloves).
- BODY AUTONOMY -- We all have a right to our own body autonomy. We respect choices that are agreed upon consensually.
- Consensual NO’S AND YESeS --When someone says “no” to you, you say “okay, thanks”. When someone says “yes” to you, understand that consent can be revoked at any time.
- Consensual CLARITY--Consent is context specific: Yes to hugging is a yes to hugging, not to anything else. You need to ask again if you want something else, with no expectations.
- AUTONOMY -- A “no” does not require explanation or justification, but it should be stated politely (unless your “no” is not being respected). It is totally okay to not want to physically interact with someone, but there is no need to shame someone or put them down in any way just for asking.
- Consensual PERMISSIONS --Respect the physical, mental and emotional boundaries of others – ask for consent when broaching heavy or potentially triggering topics of discussion or personal, invasive questions.
- CARE for SELF and Consensual CARE of OTHERS --Take care of yourself and others. Go where you need to be: be alone when it feels good; reach out to individuals when it feels good; join a group when it feels good. Ask for help when you need it. Check in with folks who are visibly upset or uncomfortable. Speak up if someone hurts you or makes you uncomfortable, even if you think it’s by accident.
- GROWTH --Be open to being approached and talked with if you make a mistake. Be mindful and respectful of what an accountability process may look like.
- COMMUNITY RESPONSIBILITY / MUTUALLY RESPONSIBLE AND ACCOUNTABLE -- The community has a responsibility to be mutually responsible and accountable to and for one another. No one should have to fend for themselves–especially if it is someone who has difficulty setting or maintaining boundaries; or is a younger and/or inexperienced Faerie. If you see something which concerns you, gently and politely intervene to assure everyone is safe. We agree not to be offended by such manifestations of well-intended concern.
- SAFER SPACES VOLUNTEERS -- At the 2020 Evans Lake Radical Faerie Gathering, there will be a team of safer spaces volunteers who you can reach out to for Peer support *.These volunteers will be identified in the opening circle. Please reach out to these people (or anyone you feel safe with) if you feel your safety or the safety of our shared spaces have been compromised. Persistent violators of these guidelines may be asked to leave the gathering. We believe in accountability and spaces of support. Building safer spaces is an ongoing process; be open to feedback about your behaviors. The BC Rad Faes are dedicated to being open to feedback on an ongoing basis and we’d love to hear your ideas for cultivating safer gatherings.
- * Safer Spaces Volunteers--Reserve the right to handle situations in ways that fit and honour our guidelines and values.
Subject-SUBJECT consciousness, a concept proposed by Harry Hay believed by Hay to be queer people's unique perspective on the world. Hay saw heterosexual society existing in a subject-object dynamic; where men, who had the culturally acceptable power, saw only themselves as subject and therefore higher than women, who were treated as objects and property. Hay extrapolated this interpersonal-sexual dynamic (male-power:female-subordinate) into a broader social context, believing that the subject-object relationship was the driving force behind most all of society's ills. Objectification served as a barrier, emotionally separating an individual (subject) from another individual by dehumanizing them, making them object.
When Hay looked at homosexual relationships, however, he saw a different dynamic at work. He believed that homosexual relationships were based on mutual respect and empathy for the other, a longing for a companion who was as equally valuable as the self. Hay termed this interpersonal-sexual dynamic subject-SUBJECT (which Hay capitalized for emphasis in all of his writings). He believed that this subject-SUBJECT way of viewing the world was queer people's most valuable contribution to the greater society. By empathizing with all people, relating to each other as equal to equal, society would change drastically and social injustices would be eradicated.
From ; https://lgbt.wikia.org/wiki/Subject-Subject_Consciousness
Harry Hay, Will Roscoe (ed.); Radically Gay: Gay Liberation in the Words of its Founder; Beacon Press (1996)
Stuart Timmons; The Trouble with Harry Hay: Founder of the Modern Gay Movement; Alyson Publications (1990)
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